50 Shades of... hmmmmn.

I am not one to go see a movie or read a book just coz the masses do. "Blockbuster" or "This summers funniest movie" leaves me cold and for one thing, how can they possibly know that it will be this summers funniest movie before it even comes out? Ok they've seen it but what if other people think its shit and another movie is actually funnier?? Why don't they just say "WE'VE watched it and WE think its the funniest movie of the summer"? Most of them show all the best bits in the trailers anyways so by the time the movie comes out, they've actually saved you the price of a ticket to go see it.

Best seller is another term that I despise quite frankly. Best seller tells u nothing about the book just that a lot of sheeple have been to buy it. Well fuck the sheeple. Half of them don't have two brain cells to rub together and would wear a dead squid on their head if you told them to.

So I was dubious when looking at Amazon.co.uk (possibly my fave website ever btw) and saw that 50 Shades of Grey was available for the Kindle. I am newly converted to the Kindle. Refusing point blank to entertain one before now. There is just something about a paperback that excites me and I didn't want to swap them for a hard grey over sized calculator. I love buying books. I love their chunky feel and smell. New, old, worn, it doesn't matter. They are just, well almost as orgasmic as new socks (another blog for another time maybe?)

So yeah, I'm on Amazon and its there, looking at me. I know people who have read it of course and who have gushed about the main character Christian Grey. Ive heard review after review on it, some good, some bad as you usually find in the case.

"E.L. James writes as though she's late for a meeting with a sex scene"

"I do recommend this book, it is a great read for anyone interested in spicing up their sex life and learning about the possibilities of sex."

So I relented and bought it and quick as a flash it was there on my Kindle, taunting me to read it.

Now anyone who knows me, knows I am a fan of the romance genre. Hell Ive even written a romance novel of my own (unpublished as yet. Fear of rejection cripples me coz I think its a masterpiece and I will not be told otherwise!!) I have read Mills n Boon and Harlequin Romance (to name a couple) for years and have quite an extensive collection on my bookshelf (or the cabinet in my bedroom) Of course they are not the kind of books you have on display. They're no War and Peace, Crime and Punishment or even Windows 7 for Dummies. I feel that even now, in this day and age there is still a stigma attached to women reading these kind of books which I feel is madness. These are romance novels, period, with a few sexual scenes in them. Some don't even get that far. They build up the sexual tension and never give you the release you expect (story of most women's life huh?) I heard someone once equate them to pornography and that women should be ashamed of themselves.

Puhleeeeeeze!

Not even in that ball park. And excuse me but what is wrong with women watching porn? I find the double standard on this subject very annoying. Just coz a women watches it, doesn't make her less of a lady, doesn't make her a slut and I would have to say in my humble opinion and speaking from experience that I bet shes having a marvellous time in the bedroom because of it. Either that or its filling a gap (pardon the pun) between boyfriends.

But back to Mr Grey. I began reading it a couple of days ago. My first reaction was "wow, this is poorly written" and quite annoyingly so. I felt like you didn't get a chance to absorb the words before the characters thoughts were derailed by another (sounds a bit like my blog!) But I gave it a chance and soon realised that it wasn't bad, it was just written in a style that I wasn't used to. Hell I'm no book critic but I know what I like and this was a definite departure.

I wont go into the book too much. Hell this is no book review but I do find the characters interesting and more so reader reactions to Mr Christian Grey. One of my friends said "I need to get me a Christian Grey" which made me think... really? Putting aside the fact that he is deeply damaged and a sadist, he knows how to be a gentleman. This got me thinking, could these female readers really handle exploring Mr Greys dark side in reality? I'm thinking not. But then again, would we all be more content in our lives if we just surrendered to our animal instincts?

Ive always believed that as humans we think we are intelligent. If we are then we are too intelligent. That in our quest to be lord and master of the lands we have actually done ourselves no favours. That we are actually less intelligent because of the technology we have created to make our lives easier. Its had the opposite effect and has actually made us lazy, almost docile. Look at how frantic we get in a power cut or even if we simply lose our phones. Hell, the majority of us couldn't even feed ourselves if our wallet was stolen as we no longer carry cash. So we keep out primal instinct buried, maybe only letting them out to take a breath in the bedroom (for the lucky few) and then we put them away again once the post coital glow has died and we've run to the bathroom to grab a some tissue. No, we have lost our instincts, our urges and dulled our senses. We rely on computers and gadgets for everything to our own detriment.

God help the masses in the impending zombie apocalypse that's all I can say. It will be the ultimate natural selection... only the fittest survive. Hell, bring it on, we could do with a cull!

I could carry on with this but I shall leave it there. Well until I've read the next instalment from the Grey trilogy.